Moments In Time
When Moments in Time and Emotions Collide
Moments In Time
There is that moment in time when you feel lost. That moment when you feel scared and confused. That moment in time, when you feel out of control and helpless. That moment, that moment, that moment. That moment in time when you see your child or loved one in distress and there is nothing you can do. Nothing you can say to change the situation. Nothing that can make them feel better, because at that moment you ARE lost, scared, confused, out of control and helpless. You are ALL Of those things in that same one moment.
I would not have believed that it is possible for one person to feel multiple emotions at once if I had not experienced all of these emotions at one time 24 years ago. But you can and I did. In one single moment, I felt every one of those emotions. Why? Because I heard the words: "Your child's blood sugar level is 585 and he is a Diabetic, if you had not brought him in today, he would have died in his sleep of a diabetic coma". Yes, you read that right. That was exactly what I was told at that time and that’s when all of those emotions Collided in that same one moment in time.
The realization that there is something wrong with your child and you really have no idea what any of what you are hearing means when you first hear it can spark all kinds of different emotions. To say that hearing the doctor diagnose my son with Type 1 Diabetes (once I calmed down enough for him to clarify that it was type one and that there is a difference between that and type 2) was frightening is an understatement compared to the full gamut of emotions one would go through when hearing that there is something wrong with your child's health. Something that you cannot just fix with a prescription medication, something that an over the counter supplement or diet change cannot fix. No, Type One Diabetes is that something that will travel with your child the rest of their life and there is nothing you can do to take it away, to change it, or to stop it from dwelling in their body. No, instead it is something that you learn to cope with, manage, master, live with and teach your child how to thrive with in spite of. And that is exactly what my family did after the initial shock and long length of time between the day of diagnosis (which felt like forever) and initial treatment surpassed.
Taking on a Whole New Language
I remember those moments and the whirlwind of emotions that I felt all at once, it was like taking on a whole new language. It started with a long day of discovery (the diagnosis), the long night of immediate treatment (hospital stay) and several days of education (learning how to in essence "take care of our child"). That experience was truly a long day that turned into a long night which then turned into several days. But we managed to get through it and move forward, and moving on and moving forward is exactly what I aimed to promote in "585".
The Book
"585, The Number That Changed Our Lives reflects" the moments in time that sometimes suspended me in place, propelled me forward or had me wishing I could go backwards. Moments in time that over time became part of me, part of my son and part of our whole family. Those moments in time that forces you to see that even with hard times, even with times of unknown outcomes there is hope, healing, good health, and first, foremost and always LOVE.
It has taken me a long time (over 15 years) to decide to share our journey with the world. In 2006 I self-published a book of poems and brief essays about our lives raising a child with Type One diabetes. But the shelf life of that book didn't last long, I un-published it, locked it away and moved on. Now, 18 years later I am finally at the point of not only being ready to share my story but have just recently self-published it.
" 585, The Number That Changed Our Lives", is an open and honest memoir recounting my experience as a mother of a type one diabetic. In it you'll read about the raw emotions that I went through learning about my son's diagnosis, the impact it had on my and my husband's everyday lives and most importantly how it affected our son. Through the pages of this book, you will also receive insight on what it is like to raise a child with type one diabetes, inspiration and knowledgeable tips on management. The finalization of this book has been a long time coming for me which is why I'm excited to say that "585, The Number That Changed Our Lives", is on sale now at Lulu.com. Purchase your copy today!
If you've enjoyed reading this post, please share this story with anyone you know living with type one diabetes whether it is because they have it themselves, are raising a child with it or know someone who is, there may be a little gem of information that will help make their journey a little easier and that is my goal.